I am really sorry for you. It seems you are suffering so much. It is undoubtedly very difficult to handle such a situation. I wish I could do something. You can go for surrogacy. In this, you can take help from a surrogate mother. In this way, you can be blessed with a baby. The rest of your life you can spend at ease. I hope you get out of all this trauma soon. I wish you a happy and healthy life ahead.