Hi. I appreciate that you are considering all this important. Having these concerns shows you’ll be a good mother. It isn’t necessary to birth the child in order to love him/her. The child will be born from a part of you. Your eggs and your husband’s sperm will make the baby. I have a daughter through it. She’s turning 2 this year. Yes, we were worried, too. But when we got her home, it felt like I am her birth mother. She started calling me mama. It means the world to me. The child will love you like you will love them, no matter what. The baby would be yours in every way. When they grow up, you can tell them. But only when they can understand it. I would tell my daughter when she is at least 10.