Hi there, Alsa! I hope you’re feeling any better now. I’m very sorry to read about your miscarriages and then infertility. There isn’t any pain greater than the pain of losing your unborn baby. You lost 3 of them, this is literally very upsetting. Infertility is surely a curse and now you’re 43. I’d advise you to go for surrogacy. It is the best alternative for you to have a child. It is a trending method in which your eggs and your husband’s sperms are fertilized in a laboratory. Then the embryo is transferred into another woman’s uterus. This woman is called a surrogate mother who carries your baby in her womb for 9 months. You can research for clinics in eastern Europe. There are very reasonable clinics with good services. Choose the one with high success rates and great reviews. Everything will be fine just don’t stress and never lose hope. Best of luck!