That sounds like a rough situation, I am sorry about that. I know coming from a household like that Id often have trouble and that therapy was a huge help to speak to a third party without pressure. When my mom and dad first separated it was hard to not feel like if I opened up to one of them that I wasn’t picking sides so I ended up internalizing everything. It was hard but when I got to a therapist around 12 it was great as it felt like I had some I could talk to that wouldn’t hold a grudge for my honesty.
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I also know the therapist recommended to my parents to do more of a rewards-based system rather than a discipline-based system. So instead of “pick up your toys or you’ll go to timeout” it was “if you pick up your toys we can go to the park etc”

I hope this helps I am sorry to hear about this! Keep us updated on what happens.