I am extremely sorry to hear about your loss it must be extremely devastating.
However, you shouldn’t be afraid to go for surrogacy as it is a rescue for so many women who are unable to conceive naturally. It is a great method as it allows one to be genetically linked with the baby and has a high rate of success as well. Being in the same boat I was lucky enough to find a clinic which is very inexpensive as compared to the clinic where I live. The clinic was doing the treatment legally and was also ensuring that everyone was following the legal framework. I was concerned about the health of the surrogates one of the reasons why I didn’t opt for private surrogacy. However, was glad to find out that in this clinic they had a medical test and if one passed it then they were only eligible to be the surrogates. Once a surrogate was pregnant she had to visit the clinic daily for check-ups as well. This was honestly amazing as the clinic was so efficient. The technology being used was so advanced that it was a complete mind blown moment for me. I was also very particular about the part where the custody of the child should belong to me. I was glad that the child’s rights would belong to me and I honestly felt better. Keeping the whole treatment secret would also be possible as you’ll be abroad for it. However, just make sure that your DH is in this with you otherwise there is no harm in opting for it. Always feel free to ask me more questions I am always ready to help. I hope you are soon able to conceive sending baby dust your way.