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Reply To: Creating time for spouse after a newborn

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If fatigue is what’s keeping you from getting your sex life back, the first thing to do is talk with your partner about it. Tell him, ‘I really am tired, but I want to have sex with you. Then do some creative problem solving. Ask your partner to watch the baby so you can rest up and get into the mood. Also, aim for early morning sex, when you’ve both had a chance to catch some ZZZ’s. Lean on your family or friends or a sitter so you can have some time without the baby. Or give it a shot when Junior is napping. Of course, your baby might wake up at the worst possible moment. While you’re trying to reignite those bedroom flames. That’s why it’s important to have a sense of humor about the whole situation. Remember that it’s not going to last forever. Hormones are part of the sex problem, too. Estrogen levels go down after delivery. That can cause a shortage of vaginal lubrication, which can make sex painful or less pleasurable. A simple solution: Use a topical lubricant during sex. Experiment with different positions, too being on top may allow you more control during penetration. If a lack of lubrication makes sex hurt, or if sex causes pain for a different reason, explain to your partner that you need to take it slowly. Be sure to discuss the pain with your gynecologist. Lubrication issues usually go away after you stop breastfeeding or after your period resumes.