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Creating time for spouse after a newborn

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    Be selective about what outside commitments you make. Be willing to say no to friends, family, work events, and so forth. Your time as a couple is so limited that you must first take into account the amount of time the two of you have together before planning outside engagements. Avoid over-committing, and set priorities for your time. There are only so many hours in a day or week. You cannot expect to keep doing everything you have always done once you start adding children to the list of daily requirements. Take advantage of nap time or early morning time. While the baby is still asleep, enjoy a cup of coffee together and chat about your day. You may want to read the paper together and share your thoughts or simply hold hands and snuggle while you watch the news or a favorite television program. Turn the television off. Television is not evil, but if no limited, it can eat up a lot of precious time. If you are in the habit of having the television on even when you have no intention of watching it, you probably have realized how easy it is to get drawn into something that you would never have chosen to watch. Plan ahead by being selective about which television programs you want to watch. When the program is over, turn the television set off. Busy couples do not just find time for each other; they make time for each other. Taking time to connect with your spouse every day is an essential element to keeping a marriage strong. Remember to kiss every day, hug each other as you leave and return home, sit together holding hands while you watch television. These little connection times can make all the difference in the world in helping the two of you feel treasured by each other.


    If fatigue is what’s keeping you from getting your sex life back, the first thing to do is talk with your partner about it. Tell him, ‘I really am tired, but I want to have sex with you. Then do some creative problem solving. Ask your partner to watch the baby so you can rest up and get into the mood. Also, aim for early morning sex, when you’ve both had a chance to catch some ZZZ’s. Lean on your family or friends or a sitter so you can have some time without the baby. Or give it a shot when Junior is napping. Of course, your baby might wake up at the worst possible moment. While you’re trying to reignite those bedroom flames. That’s why it’s important to have a sense of humor about the whole situation. Remember that it’s not going to last forever. Hormones are part of the sex problem, too. Estrogen levels go down after delivery. That can cause a shortage of vaginal lubrication, which can make sex painful or less pleasurable. A simple solution: Use a topical lubricant during sex. Experiment with different positions, too being on top may allow you more control during penetration. If a lack of lubrication makes sex hurt, or if sex causes pain for a different reason, explain to your partner that you need to take it slowly. Be sure to discuss the pain with your gynecologist. Lubrication issues usually go away after you stop breastfeeding or after your period resumes.

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