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Reply To: Should you tell the child they are adopted?

Home Forums Adoption Adoption Agencies Should you tell the child they are adopted? Reply To: Should you tell the child they are adopted?


Start talking to your child about their adoption right away—even if your child is a toddler. This way it won’t be a surprise to them. Keep it very simple, and keep it appropriate to the child’s age. For instance, “before the age of 5, all kids need to know is that they are adopted, and it’s a way to form a family.” Also, emphasize that you are a “forever family.” After 5 years old, most kids are curious about where babies come from. When your child asks, you might say, “A different man and woman made you. You grew in that woman’s belly. And then I came and adopted you. That’s how we became a family.” memorable for the parents will become memorable for the child. Making it a routine talk helps you become more comfortable discussing your child’s adoption, and lets them “hear how happy you were for her to come into your life. Don’t ignore or criticize the birth parents. Birth parents must be part of the adoption story. By not mentioning them, adoptive parents send a message that they are uncomfortable talking about them or there was something wrong with them. But birth parents will always be part of your child’s life. Whether it was an open, closed or foreign adoption with very little information. Be sure not to say anything disparaging. Remember that they are the reason you have your child.