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Should you tell the child they are adopted?

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    Has there been any changes on whether to tell the child that they are adopted?


    This is like eternal question of many debates. To tell the truth or hide it? Some parents evade that question out of fear of losing their adopted children. Each and one of us would have that need to know who your biological parents are. The worst part would be for adoptive parents if your children make the connection with the biological one. There is always a possibility of losing them one day. I think that is the major reason why people don´t tell their adopted children about their origins. I think that is fair because the biological ones left those kids and shouldn´t get a chance of having them back. That should be the definitive punishment for irresponsible parents.


    I believe this to be personal decision. Many people solve this case in different situations. Or rather there are different solutions to this question. It might seem so irrelevant. But at the end of the day it carries much weight. I know of various situation where kids have grown without knowing whether they are adapted. They come to know about it later in life. If the kid is fair enough, he or she forgives the parents. If not, then there will be ill feelings. Just know there is no secret that will last long. Especially if we are talking about adaption. In one way or the other the baby will later know. I understand how parents tend to protect this from their children. They feel if the children know of this then they will live them. I always say no to this. A child will leave you if the treatment is not good. The way you treat your adopted child leads to a lot of things than what you think.


    This is good that you have decided to raise this topic. Many parents have been stranded to what to decide. Well, I can say it is a personal decision. But when you look at it vividly I don’t think if it is. Like you have to keep that child into consideration. You have been raising that child like yours. So the decision you make should be wise. You should stop being self centered and value your child emotions too. What would s/he feel if she finds out you kept that away from them. Would you wish your child to be done the same? Do unto others what you would want to be done to you. I feel the child should know the truth. If their parents are still out there. Just tell them so that they know. That will not make you less of a parent. I understand many parents are afraid of doing this. Feeling like they will lose the child. But it is the right if the child to know their parents too.


    Start talking to your child about their adoption right away—even if your child is a toddler. This way it won’t be a surprise to them. Keep it very simple, and keep it appropriate to the child’s age. For instance, “before the age of 5, all kids need to know is that they are adopted, and it’s a way to form a family.” Also, emphasize that you are a “forever family.” After 5 years old, most kids are curious about where babies come from. When your child asks, you might say, “A different man and woman made you. You grew in that woman’s belly. And then I came and adopted you. That’s how we became a family.” memorable for the parents will become memorable for the child. Making it a routine talk helps you become more comfortable discussing your child’s adoption, and lets them “hear how happy you were for her to come into your life. Don’t ignore or criticize the birth parents. Birth parents must be part of the adoption story. By not mentioning them, adoptive parents send a message that they are uncomfortable talking about them or there was something wrong with them. But birth parents will always be part of your child’s life. Whether it was an open, closed or foreign adoption with very little information. Be sure not to say anything disparaging. Remember that they are the reason you have your child.

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