Enforce your own boundaries, not those of the child. For example, if you want quiet after eight o’clock, enforce that quiet. Don’t force your child into bed. My son — he is now five — started going to bed without any problems, after I made clear to him that I won’t bend a finger for him after eight. He had to go to bed without me reading to him and tucking him in a few nights, and now he gets ready when I tell him he has half an hour, if he wants me to read a story to him. Of course he cannot fall asleep immediately every night, because some nights he is not tired, some nights there are things that he needs to think about, and some nights he simply wants to look at another book or play with his cars some more. I allow him all of that, but I suggest to him that he do it in bed and turn off the light when he is finished. So some nights he reads a book and some nights he quietly plays with some toys, but I get my quiet and I don’t have to do anything for him, and he accepts that. I do the same things with all other things that once were a cause for fighting: getting dressed for kindergarten (he once had to go without shoes in the snow, and he was never dressed late after that), eating what he filled on his plate (he does not get anything else to eat before he eats everything on his plate, no matter how long this may take, even if he has to eat the cold lunch for breakfast the next day (yes, I don’t warm it up anymore)) etc. My son, who is extremely strong willed and threw lots of tantrums when he was four, is a nice and easy child today, only because I stopped telling him what to do. The only thing I tell him is what I will do or not do. And he accepts that.