we are happy to see you on this forum. We will try our best to facilitate you with the best and reliable answer. I read your whole post. I can imagine that how much tired you are. You didn’t lose hope throughout your cycle. but you are doing so at this time. dear, it all bout the end. Why are you becoming helpless at this time.? you have made your efforts much more. That is really appreciable. There is a brighter day after the darkest night. So darker the night will be the brighter day will appear with a great sunshine. Just hope and wait for your right time. you will get your reward of patience and silence. For that time wish you all the best. a lot of hugs for you.