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Reply To: Sorry for the big post

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It is good that you are expressing your feeling here. It is never healthy to bottle up your feelings. This forum is the really best place to talk about feelings.
In this situation, I think you should seek professional help. You are so on point with what you had to say about life. You have to make sacrifices to get happiness.
Try to stay positive through all of this. I wish you luck and the positive results.