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Some courage for those who think everything is lost ;)

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Tifanny 4 years, 3 months ago.

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  • #909

    Britt Stevans
    Participant

    Hi, my name is Brittany and I am new @ this forums. Hope all of you had a perfect christmas and I wish all the answers and blessings you deserve for this new year.
    My entire family was passing through a really difficult situation that almost takes the life of my mother. I will tell you more about it:
    My mom get pregnant of me when she was pretty young and my biological father died when I was just a child, this was to heavy for her and also were more overwhelming for both of us because she was pregnant again. All this situation was incredibly unbearable, my mom get caught on a big depression, and with all the deal of my father she wasn’t feeding herself properly and also she was taking pills to get sleep and she just forget about the kid (or girl) inside her.

    After some weeks, she was starting feeling really strange and we decided to go with a doctor. I will never forget this… the doctor asked me to go outside the room and they were talking for a few minutes after this.
    When my mom came with me, she didn’t have a single expression in her face or eyes and I was too young to understand all the problems we had in that moment. Apparently, the baby died after some weeks and with all the situation she didn’t even noticed it and after all that time she could be infertile with no probabilities of having a baby never again.

    Years have past, I grew up but we have been the most good friends in the world, she’s now married with a good man and I am about to marry this year (or maybe the next, who knows? Haha). After so much time without going again to any clinic, we went the first day of this new year, due to some symptoms in my mom and that was really getting us worried.

    I saw that look in her face again, that one I saw when I was just a little girl… When I asked her what happened, she just said: “… I can’t believe… I’m pregnant.”

    No one can just imagine all the tears, screams and the happiness covering all the area. After 15 years thinking she will never have again the opportunity of being mother, my mom will have a baby this year, the year when I will have 26 years old.

    You think everything is lost and there’s no hope? Ha, ha, you can start having it again, you will surely not have to wait like this long.

    Be proud of you, do not let someone else steal your dreams of a bigger family and if you need some words of someone who will be supporting you, you can always count with my words and the words of my mom through my account.

    OH! And remember, just keep trying 🙂

    #945

    Stormi
    Participant

    Wow, this is motivating. At first while I was reading through the post I seemed discouraged. Thinking like things will not work out. But at the end there is hope. I believe your story will encourage others out there. To never give up no matter the situation. Since your mother was told by the doctor that she can no longer have children. Then 15 years later she is pregnant. If it is not miracles then I don’t know what it is. Probably you had even forgot like you will ever have a sibling again. Now that you are that old. Looking forward to have your own family. All I wish is the best for you. As you are looking forward for your marriage. be it this year or years to come, haha. I do hope your mother pregnancy will be easy to deal with. As you will now be an expectant sibling [wink].

    #1049

    Milan
    Participant

    This is awesome. I believe that there was someone who needed that. Yours is truly encouraging. I know quite a number of friends who have been going through the same. They even gave up. Thinking that things will never work out. But I believe that what you have said can help someone. Sometimes we all just need that small kind of motivation. To know that things will eventually work out. Looking around infertility seems to have spread out,. The issue is now like a normal phenomena. In which it should have not be. But since the medications are doing something good to all of us. I do hope at the end of the day there will be light at the end of the tunnel. I am so proud for your mother. And the entire family at large. Pass my congratulatory message to her.

    #6601

    Stormi
    Participant

    Yes dear, I think other women out there really needed to hear that. In making sense of and sharing what I’ve learned about disenfranchised grief (grief that is not acknowledged by society), I began to actively mourn the losses we’d endured and found peace. By giving voice to my experience, I tapped into a well of strength and resilience and cultivated a community of women whose lives don’t involve parenting. We see families of two where we used to see couples. Today, birth announcements or photos of newly pregnant, aging celebrities in the supermarket checkout stand no longer evoke envy or anger. I’ve learned to appreciate my body, my life, and my relationships in a new light. Still there’s awkwardness when meeting people with children for the first time, who routinely inquire if we have any of our own (where to begin?) or when hanging out with friends who chat about the challenges of raising a family. For my part, I tread lightly in our newfound joy and our life lived without the limitations they face so as not to appear indifferent to their struggles and the demands on their time. My husband and I continue to push forward, to shape and define a life outside the beaten path. We challenge each other to uncover new possibilities, to seek new adventures and discoveries that will enrich our understanding of the world and our place in it. That’s what we would have encouraged our children to do.

    #6617

    Tifanny
    Participant

    I think it was stress that was hindering your mom from giving birth. Knowing that she could no longer conceive might have made her bitter. So what’s causing this infertility from anxiety? Doctors currently have no idea. Possible reasons include: It’s possible that someone in a considerable amount of stress would struggle if they were also in the process of having a child. It’s possible that as human beings evolved, those that weren’t conceiving under extreme pressure were able to live longer and conceive later than those that could. Or perhaps it was valuable as a disincentive to cause partners stress since child rearing is easier when partners are in less trouble. After billions of years, anything is possible. On a related note, perhaps extreme anxiety reduces developmental health. If stress and anxiety have any effect on pregnancy health, then maybe the human body tries to avoid it until it’s “ready.” As amazing as the human body is, it has a limited amount of resources it can handle at any given time. We know that the brain takes resources away from certain parts of the body during anxiety (this is what causes indigestion – the body takes resources from digestion to help with anxiety). It’s possible that resources needed for conception are taken away as well. But all of these are simply guesses. The truth is that the reason anxiety causes infertility is simply unclear. Stress and anxiety wreak havoc on the body, and most likely it is a combination of many different issues that make it harder to conceive.

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