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Telling your child they are a surro-baby

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This topic contains 19 replies, has 19 voices, and was last updated by  Andy 5 months, 1 week ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 20 total)
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  • #2030

    Tifanny
    Participant

    Many parents find the conversation about birth and where babies come from to be an uncomfortable discussion to have with their children. This topic may be difficult to talk about at first. But telling the truth and being honest with your children is always the best solution. If your child’s birth story involves surrogacy, the conversation can be more overwhelming. However, surrogacy is an important part of your child’s story. Many people agree that it is important to be honest with how your child was born. As surrogacy is a significant part of them. Intended parents sometimes need help to tell the story in an age-appropriate way. Start preparing to tell their story even before they are born. Gather information about the surrogacy process and your personal journey with it. Take pictures and document the process of the pregnancy. This way your child will have visuals and understand everyone that was involved in creating their life. When your baby is born, begin telling them their story as an infant, even though they may not understand. The more practice you have telling it, the more comfortable you will be when your child is ready to really hear their story.

    #2048

    Anonymous

    During my first marriage i miscarried for 3 times.I always had complications while getting pregnant.Now i’m married for second time at the age of 43. Having a look at my previous pregnancies i guess it is not a good idea to be pregnant again. So i persuaded my husband to go for surrogacy and he is ready to go for it if we will have a baby of our own DNA.
    So i started looking out for good clinics regarding surrogacy.I researched over the web and found many clinics regarding surrogacy.
    While having a look at best known clinics for surrogacy i came across a name of clinic many times. Having very good positive reviews.So i contacted that clinic and told them about my issue.They said they will help us in every possible way.They told me about their procedure and they will help us in every aspect. They told us that we can have baby of our own DNA sample. Surrogate mother will not have any effect on our child. She will just keep our child in her womb. The clinic will find a good surrogate for our baby. They will test her and will analyze if she can carry our child in her womb or not.
    If someone has some experience regarding surrogacy let me know your experience than.

    #2050

    Anonymous

    I think it is very hard to tell children that they are surrogate. How can a parent gather that much courage? This topic is very difficult and tiresome. But telling your children truth is the best option. I can parents should tell them when they are mature. Whey they can understand the parents point of view. I also have a surrogate child. I know the feeling. keep your hopes and faith high.

    #2084

    Stormi
    Participant

    Many parents are somewhat uncomfortable discussing conception and birth with their children . And when a child’s birth story involves the social, emotional, medical and legal complexities of surrogacy. The conversation can seem especially overwhelming. However, surrogacy is an important part of your child’s story. And experts agree that it is important to be honest with your children about their surrogacy story from the beginning. Continue to tell your child’s story in a simple and straightforward way as he or she grows. Even if your child does not fully understand the topics of conception, birth and surrogacy. This will help lead to a natural understanding of the surrogacy process as your child gets older and becomes more aware. You may want to talk with them about how babies come into the world and how some people need extra help to make that happen. Explain that families are built in many ways. Including through adoption. With the help of doctors and medicine, and through surrogacy.

    #2422

    ezabel
    Participant

    There is nothing wrong is telling your baby about how he comes from. But I believe that would make your baby appreciate this procedure. And respect this thing. Would you want your baby to grow to hate the procedure or the thing which was the reason for this blessing? Your baby should know this thing, And there is nothing if a couple makes a video of their journey. It actually means that they are not afraid to tell their baby about this fact.

    #2454

    saim_12
    Participant

    I can completely understand the situation. It’s difficult to tell your child about the truth .but we can’t hide it for a long time .if we hide it somebody else tells him or her .so it’s better to speak the truth .take your child in confidence and tells them the whole story .trust me they will understand it completely.

    #2462

    Jessica fields
    Participant

    I agree with each and every word. You have covered every aspect. I agree with talking to the infant part. I was confused on how to tell my baby. This helped me a lot. I mean this is a great idea. I think it is important to tell your baby. You have to ensure they know everything. If someone else tells them, they might get hurt. It should be you telling them. Not any stranger. I am gonna work on this. I will tell my baby. I am sure he will understand. At the end of the day, he is still my baby.

    #2477

    Anonymous

    Really nice post. Really agree with you. Many people have confusion in their mind that whether they should tell truth or not. I think they should tell their children that they are surrogates. No doubt its so hard to tell your child the truth. But at any stage, they will get to know, maybe from someone else. Instead of they know from any other family member, it’s better to them by yourself. We should not tell them directly. Tell them when they are mature enough. When they are able to understand things. First, tell them why you needed to go for surrogacy. And what surrogacy is. It will help you to understand them in the better way. I also have the surrogate child of nine months. I am also making myself ready to for that. I am preparing myself that how I will tell her.

    #2482

    Akira
    Participant

    It is a good thing to tell them about their birth stories.
    Surrogacy gives the infertile people a chance to have some kids.Surrogacy is very good according to me.Surrogacy should not be banned.It is the source of happiness for many people.Surrogate moms give kids to others who are unable to have kids naturally.
    For me surrogacy is the best thing in the world.i was infertile and i got my twin daughters from surrogacy.
    Good luck to everyone.

    #2483

    Joanne Silvia
    Participant

    Hey Tiffany. Hope you’re doing well. You’ve raised such an important point. This is a really important discussion. I’m glad you gave your opinion on it as well. I’m also all in for telling your baby the truth. It’s so important to do so. What if, god-forbid, they struggle with infertility? We know how hard it was. The journey towards surrogacy was a nightmare, so many issues. Do we want our children to go through that? Surely not. It’s important to make them realize that it’s not a big deal. All we can hope for is that the world will become a better and more understanding place. Thank you for posting this!

    #2488

    kim01
    Participant

    Yes, I agree. The children have right to know about it. Some parents think that maybe surrogacy is a shameful process. So they dont tell their children that how they were brought in the world. Secondly, some people think that maybe their children will start hating them. I am not agreed with them. I think people should tell their babies about their birth. It is neither shameful process nor the babies will hate them. It is necessary, to be honest with them.

    #2490

    mila
    Participant

    Truly, I agree. The kids have appropriate to think about it. A few guardians believe that perhaps surrogacy is a dishonourable procedure. So they dont tell their babies that how they were gotten the world. Besides, a few people imagine that possibly their kids will begin disliking them. I do not concur with them. It is not shameful. I have faced infertility for 10 years that made me go for surrogacy. I figure individuals should educate their infants regarding their introduction to the world. It is neither disgraceful process nor the infants will loathe them. It is essential, to be straightforward with them.

    #2496

    Anonymous

    I’m facing infertility from a long period. Like from last 10 years of my married life i am trying to conceive. But i cannot conceive ever. The doctors are also not sure what is the reason behind this infertility. They are also unable to tell me that wheather i will conceive or not. So with the passing age i have decided to go for surrogacy. But as in Bulgaria surrogacy is not allowed. I am moving with my husband to Ukraine. I heard there are many good clinics for surrogacy.

    #2532

    Aria
    Participant

    Thank you for an informative post. Surrogacy is like a blessing for the intended parents. It is an amazing thing in the journey of infertile couples. Having a baby through the surrogacy is also a blessing. So we should be honest with our child. Tell them the true story of the birth. But it needs an appropriate time and age. It will be an interesting story for baby. Prepare your baby from the start of the story.

    #2552

    Felicia Saz
    Participant

    I completely agree with you. thanks for making this post. I think a person deserves to know where they came from. There is nothing wrong in that. So, I really don’t understand why some people try to hide it if they have their babies through surrogacy. They should know what lengths their parents went to in order to have them. This is how it should be.

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