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Benefits of telling children where they are from

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  • June 21, 2018 at 11:19 am #3174
    hallenjames
    Participant

    You are absolutely right. This is the best post. Yes, parents should tell their babies that they are through surrogacy. It is not something to be ashamed of. That’s a misconception in our society. That surrogacy is not the right thing to do. If by natural means you are not conceiving. Then you find a good treatment for it. Then that’s not the right thing to do. The surrogate child should be proud of themselves. That how desperate their parents were to have in their life. So it’s nothing to be ashamed of. They are gifted by God to them. I wish everyone should be happy. Thanks for pointing out such issues.

    June 21, 2018 at 12:14 pm #3175
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi! Stormi, I hope you are doing well. Actually, I believe ur absolutely right. sometimes something’s seemed to be right if they are hidden but the reality is the truth is something that always wins. nothing wrong in it if parents clearly tell the truth to their child.T his not only increase their parents respect in their eyes but also their love will also be increased while on the other hand. If they will hide the reality from them then their trust might be shattered. Surrogacy is not a wrong method but if parents will feel ashamed of it then children will consider it negative. Donor concept and surrogacy have gained popularity worldwide. It is a blessing indeed for all those couples who have problems related to reproduction. Its nothing to be ashamed of.T his surrogacy is actually a blessing for the couple but if it will shatter self-esteem of the children then it will no more be a blessing for them. I believe it is difficult for parents to tell the truth but if they handle the situation intelligently and calmly it will save them from negative circumstances. I have heard this that we can hide lie for some days, few weeks or might for few years but the truth always come.SO it is better, to tell the truth rather being sorry at the end. All the best to all the parents out there who are surrogate parents. Your post will be a great help to them

    June 21, 2018 at 5:19 pm #3195
    Farah Smith
    Participant

    “Hey there? How are you? Hope you are fine. Welcome to this forum. Hope you will find answers of your worries. You have raised an important issue here. Children should know all these realities in their young ages. When they will grow old and knew this from someone else , it will not be good for them and the family. It will weakened the relationship. So parents should tell them every thing. Parents should be careful in this regard. Well moving towards other part of your thread I would say Surrogacy would be best. It is highly successful procedure. Well the think which People need to know is to choose a good and quality clinic
    “

    June 21, 2018 at 6:03 pm #3200
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    hope you are doing well. I think yo should have to tell your children about surrogacy when they will be mature enough. I am also an infertile. My husband and i am looking for a good clinic for surrogacy. we heard about Lotus Clinic. We tried to contact them via email and phone but failed to get in touch. They didn’t respond to our emails and phone. We are very disappointed with their communication services.

    June 27, 2018 at 6:56 am #3588
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Linda, you are so right. There is a stigma associated with the surrogacy or other fertility treatments. I think the first step is to educate your children about what exactly surrogacy is. And for parents who have had kids via surrogacy must be encouraged to be vocal and quite considerate of their journey.

    June 27, 2018 at 4:33 pm #3614
    elli12
    Participant

    hey, how are you? hope you are fine. doing great. basically, I want to tell you something. people hesitate to tell the truth because they worried that there son or daughter starting to hate them. but I agree with you they should tell them.

    June 28, 2018 at 8:56 am #3662
    aana
    Participant

    Hey stormi ! how are you doing? I totally agree with your point. I also have a child through this process. I think to tell someone about reality is obligatory. But wait for the right time. once your kid is in the position of understanding then you should tell him the truth. I think it has no negative aspects .good luck

    July 22, 2018 at 6:40 pm #5085
    JoyceJohnson
    Participant

    Hello there! How are you? Hope you are doing fine. I have always wondered about this. I don’t know if I have reached the final decision yet. I think that children ought to know their stories. But I also think that it is necessary to protect them against every harm. Including mental harm. So I don’t know what to do. I am going to this event in London on 17, 18 August. The clinic I had surrogacy at is coming there. I will ask them this question. It needs to be answered by a professional. Hope I will get my answer. I’ll update you soon. Stay blessed.

    July 23, 2018 at 3:28 pm #5121
    Tifanny
    Participant

    As a parent, you’re well aware of how detail-oriented children will be. Children whose family looks a bit different from others may start to question how they came to be. As they start to get older, children become well aware that two dads or a single mom don’t fit the standard equation. If your child was conceived via gay surrogacy or another form of surrogacy, it’s important to have the “How was I born?” discussion as soon as possible. This will allow your child to normalize the process and be comfortable and prideful in their own story. For some parents, the idea of telling their child they were conceived in a non-traditional way can be scary. Yet, research has shown that keeping your child’s origin a secret can impact not only the child but the parents as well. One study found that children born via surrogacy have “higher level of adjustment difficulties” and mothers who kept their child’s origin a secret had “higher levels of distress.” Not explaining your child’s true origin can cause feelings of guilt, shame, and distrust. It may also cause them to view surrogacy in a negative light. Knowing how we came to be gives us a sense of trust, self-esteem, and, most importantly, identity.

    July 27, 2018 at 4:54 pm #5271
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    You have posted a great post. Many people are confused because of this problem. They afraid that if they tell the child about this, children might leave them. I totally agree with you. Children should really know how they have given birth. Because there are some serious people in the family. Who might tell them in a negative way It’s better to get to know from parents instead of know from other people. We should tell them gradually. We should not tell them all at once. It will also help them to know the value of surrogacy. Thanks for sharing this post with others. It will help them very much. Keep posting such nice posts. Stay blessed.

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