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Benefits of telling children where they are from

Home Forums Surrogacy Baby On The Way Benefits of telling children where they are from

This topic contains 24 replies, has 24 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 3 years, 5 months ago.

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  • #2085

    Stormi
    Participant

    Many psychologists feel strongly that children have the right to know their stories and have learned from adoption research and experience that a child’s knowledge of his or her origins is important to developing a healthy sense of identity, trust and self-esteem. Here are some reasons to talk with your child about his or her birth through surrogacy. A heavy burden is placed on intended parents, as well as friends and family members, to conceal the surrogacy story indefinitely. Lying or failing to tell the truth about your child’s story can create issues of shame, guilt and distrust, as well as a negative view of surrogacy and/or donor conception. There are others, including extended family, friends and the surrogate’s family, who know your child’s story, and it can be damaging if your child hears the truth from someone other than you. Donor-conceived children risk receiving inaccurate medical information if they do not have access to their donor’s family medical history.

    #2225

    Sasha James
    Participant

    Hey there. How are you doing? I hope its all good. I know it what you are saying is right. People should know about themselves. Parents should tell them. Surrogacy has helped many people. People in the joy usually don’t tell their children about it. It helps children a lot if you tell them. It is even a trust exercise. I hope people understand it. I wish everyone good luck. I hope they find their happiness. Its all a more mt of positivity. Lost of love and support. Prayers too.

    #2235

    kim01
    Participant

    Yes, you are right. There is a misconception about surrogacy in our society. It is necessary for us to tell our kids their birth stories. I have a baby through surrogacy and I went to a clinic in Europe for it. I think one should go with the decision to tell them about it. Secondly, it is an amazing process. It is sometimes last hope for parents.

    #2238

    mila
    Participant

    You are correct. There is a confusion about surrogacy in our general public. It is essential for us to tell our children their introduction to the world stories. I have twins through surrogacy and I went to a clinic in Europe for it. I figure one ought to run with the choice to educate them regarding it. I will surely tell them one day. They would understand what we have been through. Furthermore, it is an astounding procedure. It is now and again last seek after guardians.

    #2239

    Felicia Saz
    Participant

    Hi. This is an amazing post. I agree with you one hundred people. This is no taboo, so we shouldn’t make one either. I used to worry about this too. Everyone deserves to know where they come from. We have no right to hide this sensitive information. I think if one has adopted a child they should start making the concept more and more common for the child and refer it as a great thing to do. It actually is. So there really is no point in lying or hiding. Same goes for surrogacy. I believe that the connection between a child and his mother after surrogacy or adoption can be same as the normal ones. So Really. There is no point in hiding. Hiding would only make it worse.

    #2241

    Joanne Silvia
    Participant

    Hey there. This is such an important post. Surrogacy is really important. It’s 2018! I can’t people still have negative thoughts regarding it. There really is no shame in it. I’m going through the process. I plan on telling my baby, how he was conceived. There shouldn’t be any problems with this. We’re not living in the 16th century! Even my own family was against my decision of surrogacy. But what am I supposed to do? Should I kill myself due to depression? Doesn’t make sense. Thank you for talking about this.

    #2266

    ezabel
    Participant

    There is nothing wrong sharing the truth with your children of his birth. I believe hiding this fact means that you are ashamed of this procedure. And you are afraid of opening up to your family or children’s.
    They have the rights to know how they come from. And there is nothing to be ashamed of. They should know how much struggle you did to have them. And at the growing stage, you would develop the sense of humanity and awareness about such procedure. That world thinks false of.
    That would much help them understand how great such procedure is. And by doing this you could minimize the little negativity from the world. They are magical babies. And are such a blessing for all the infertile persons.

    #2274

    Jessica fields
    Participant

    I totally agree with all you said. I believe this was a much-needed topic. No one ever talks about it. Though it is equally important. I think the child needs to be told about everything. It is his or her basic right. Now obviously some children are sensitive. Right age and time need to be taken care of in this case. Otherwise, they should be told as soon as possible. It is better to tell them yourself. It won’t be good if they get to know from someone else. It will hurt their feelings. They will feel betrayed. So if they are adopted, Conceived via IVF or a surrogate baby. They need to be informed.

    #2288

    Sarah Williams
    Participant

    Oh yeah! I agree with that! But, that’s really a tough decision to make. So, yeah! Like, my cousin sister has had the procedure of surrogacy last year, she had it in Ukraine. So, yes! Birth giving the mother is the surrogate. So, she intends to tell the child…But, on the other scale or context. It looks really tough for them…What do you say?

    #3089

    Anonymous

    Hey there, I totally concur with you in this regard. That was one of the most necessary problems to be discussed. Very rare people even discuss it. Well, it’s so much important for a child. The child must know the reality of his birth. It’s his basic right to know about his surrogate mother. But you have to be careful in this regard because some children are so sensitive in this regard. It’s permanent fear for you that they can do anything to themselves. Rather, you can tell him when he grows up enough to bear such things. I would recommend you to consult some psychologist for it. Then, it’s also better if you visit that clinic along with your child. I’m sure, he’ll understand you. Dear, surrogacy is a better option than adoption. I would recommend every aspirant to choose that clinic which guarantees you the childbirth and surrogate won’t interfere in the future life of a child. My sister also had surrogacy treatment from Adonis clinic in Europe but unluckily they disturbed her so much after that. Wishing you all the best!

    #3101

    Anonymous

    According to me there is no point of telling your child about this. All is that you will have a family to live with happily. Now i am married again and me and my husband are thinking of having of having a baby.
    I guess keeping in aspects like me a woman should probably go for surrogacy method to have a baby..
    We are looking for a good clinic to support us and guide us through the whole process.
    I’m looking for a good woman who can carry our child in her womb for 9 months with care
    I know that at this age and keeping in mind all the aspects regarding mt previous pregnancy complications getting pregnant again will be not a good idea.
    So i have convinced my husband for having a baby via surrogacy.
    For that purpose we have consulted a number of clinics and have positive reviews about surrogacy.
    Now as i and my husband are ready for surrogacy option.
    But still i am looking for a perfect lady who can help us.
    I met many women who are offering their services to many clinics regarding surrogacy.

    #3114

    chicago
    Participant

    Stormi, I read your post. I am agreeing with this research. But according to my concept, you shouldn’t tell your kid. Forget what you have done. Consider it a bad dream and move to another place. I know relatives and friends will tell him. But wait for some time. after getting mature then tell him about the reality. He will realize your efforts and sacrifices.

    #3139

    smash12
    Participant

    Yes, you are right. Every child has a right to know about themselves. One should opt only such procedures for which they are not ashamed of later. Surrogacy does not have a negative impact nowadays. It is the most successful procedure. But still, in some countries, it is banned. I don’t understand why people do not allow anybody to live in the way they want. Why people always interfere in such matters. Nobody is infertile by their choice. It is simply a luck. And surrogate mothers are the real blessings. Thank you such an amazing post. It is good to see your reviews.

    #3148

    Anonymous

    Hi! Stormi, I hope you are doing well. Actually, I believe ur absolutely right. sometimes something’s seemed to be right if they are hidden but the reality is the truth is something that always wins. Nothing wrong in it if parents clearly tell the truth to their child.T his not only increases their parent’s respect in their eyes but also their love will also be increased while on the other hand. If they will hide the reality from them then their trust might be shattered. Surrogacy is not a wrong method but if parents will feel ashamed of it then children will consider it negative. Donor concept and surrogacy have gained popularity worldwide. It is a blessing indeed for all those couples who have problems related to reproduction. It is nothing to be ashamed of.T his surrogacy is actually a blessing for the couple but if it will shatter self-esteem of the children then it will no more be a blessing for them. I believe it is difficult for parents to tell the truth but if they handle the situation intelligently and calmly it will save them from negative circumstances.I have heard this that we can hide lie for some days, few weeks or might for few years but the truth always come.SO it is better, to tell the truth rather being sorry at the end. All the best to all the parents out there who are surrogate parents.Your post will be a great help for them

    #3167

    Maki
    Participant

    Hello. Thank you for posting this. I completely agree with you and the doctors that say you should tell your children where they are from. It is a very necessary thing to do in order to complete your child’s life. If he is not aware of his true origins, and he ends up finding it out in his later life, it will devastate him. I highly encourage all parents to never keep this a secret as it will only end your child in losing trust towards you.

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