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@Astrid I’m in that very boat. A surrogate is 16 weeks now and I’m looking to know baby’s gender when she has her next scan. I decided for Ukraine when found our India banned surrogacy. We didn’t expect that and didn’t have any backup plan. It took us more than a year to choose an alternative and here we are. My husband made a research though and it was not that easy thing to do. We decided to be picky which was right I assume
If you don’t know now, I agree that one day you can realize that it’s time to reveal the truth or hide it forever. I don’t want my child to know about such things. I’m also doing surrogacy+DE but I want to avoid any questions about this experience, so I’m going to wear a fake baby bump. I know that not many people support this idea but my life would be much easier if my friends and family think I’m a real mother who carried and conceived naturally. Missha, may I ask you if you’re still through surrogacy?
I see what you mean. I don’t believe that there are mothers who don’t love their children or don’t care about them. I guess there are reasons behind this, maybe they just don’t have opportunity or they express love in a bit different way. It’s impossible to carry a baby under your heart and then just be careless but it’s just in my opinion. When I was told, I have to use donor eggs and a surrogate to have a baby, I was stunned and refused to accept this. But my husband managed to put my mind at ease telling me, no matter whose eggs and who carries, I will be a mother, a perfect mother. This helps me to go through my surrogacy journey. I think other IPs can relate
Thanks for the info. In a nutshell, an egg donor should be young, healthy and have proven fertility. This makes sense to me and my fertility specialist confirmed all donors the clinic provides meet these requirements. Anyway, the wider the choice, the greater the doubts when trying to choose one. It was difficult for me at least. I didn’t know who to choose, the one who looks like me or simply beautiful girl. What was good is that it was possible to see a video and hear the voice of a potential egg donor. This helped me.
@Stormi, I can’t agree with you in some points. However you’re right, now women has a bit different lifesyle so tend to become mothers later. I see young moms in their early 20s less often but not even surprised when women are pregnant at 40s. I’m 36 though and have no children yet thus pursuing surrogacy. The point I can’t agree with is “good personal match”. I don’t think it’s very important and may be even dangerous. If a surrogate is chosen by a doctor and you can’t contact her directly, there are less risks of unpleasant moments. Imagine you meet her but you don’t match each other, it’s a stress. But if you don’t know each other it’s a perfect match in my opinion. I haven’t seen mine and now I’m ok with this.
To me it was about accepting the idea itself. Knowing that you will never have a baby of your own kills. My husband convinced me that a parent is one who raise a child not the one whose eggs are used or who gives birth. It’s tough indeed but I accepted this. An egg donor database of fertility center we chose for treatment was huge. More than 400 young women, although I’m not sure they all are available for stimulation. I was assured all of them are healthy and gave birth to at least one child with no complications. The task was to choose appearance and this wasn’t easy. Each egg donor profile also has video interview, this was helpful. I then decided that she must be well educated and have a nice voice. The one we chose was available for stimulation and later gave eggs that resulted in good embies. I can’t be happier
Hi all. May I ask you to share your surrogacy experience?
I am in the same boat but haven’t seen my surrogate yet. She is to have her first scan soon and I’m a bit confused and over excited. The scan is on Monday. I know it’s soon but I find it difficult to sleep. I’ve never done surrogacy before so I’m a total newby. I want to calm down but nothing works. Any thoughts on how to stay sane during this waiting?Hi. Is there anyone who have a bub thru surrogacy? I just need a piece of advice. My surrogate is only 7 week pregnant but I already feel the lack of information provided by a surrogacy agency. Have someone faced the issue? I can’t communicate with surrogate without agency’s rep so I can’t know what is going on there. I’m with Ukrainian surrogate so no chance I can see her often. Should I ask the agency to send information more often or ask for her contact information?
Hi. I hope I can contact other IPs here to share my experience and to know more about others’ journeys. My surrogate is now 7 weeks pregnant and we are to get update after her first scan on Monday. Fingers crossed everything okay with a baby. I am really worried and hope to hear from those who are/were in the same boat. I’m doing surrogacy abroad and haven’t even seen a woman who’s already carries my embies. How to cope with this from distance? I believe that one update in a month is not enough and I’ll probably go mad not knowing how the baby is doing. Is there any chance to get info more often? thanks