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I wish i had a biological child

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This topic contains 60 replies, has 47 voices, and was last updated by  emma joe 3 years, 6 months ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 61 total)
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  • #2037

    Tifanny
    Participant

    I guess that I wish that I could have had one child that was biologically mine. Just to see what it would have all been like. I guess that I should blame my mother. I looked like her and she looked like her mother. She would always look at me and make sweet comments about how I had her eyes or pretty shoulders. I grew up fantisizing about would my children keep any of our physical traits or talents. My mother always understood me. She said that I was just like her. Somewhere she planted these desires in my head and I have to get rid of them. I realize that these things are not truly important but parents have great influence in our minds. I want a baby. I am just struggling with giving up my dream yet. I hate how people refer to some women as “not the biological mother”. I think that if you give birth to it – you are the mother. I would be so tempted to never tell. Is that wrong? I guess because of the child you couldn’t keep it a secret. What are you going to tell your children?

    #2070

    kim01
    Participant

    I am so sorry for you. I know it must be painful for you. Really infertility takes alot out of a woman. I know the pain of infertility. I had 3 miscarriages and after that, I was not able to conceive. I was so upset but it was of no use. I decided to go for treatment but no luck even after 5 years. This led me to surrogacy. Now I have a baby.

    #2073

    Stormi
    Participant

    It is important to recognize that in this day and age. With readily available computer surveillance, social media and so forth. Strict anonymity can never be guaranteed. Although every effort is taken to keep the parties separate. In reality, this cannot be fully guaranteed. That being said however, each of these options do have some advantages and disadvantages. With the exception of same sex male couples. Undergoing treatment with donor eggs is never the first choice of any patient. Intended parents often have emotional/psychological difficulties coming to terms with using genetic material from another person. In these circumstances, using a known egg donor for example a sister. Could be highly desirable to “bridge the gap” so to speak. On the other hand, a relationship with a known egg donor may change substantially, after the birth of a child. This is especially true of the egg donor encounters fertility problems of her own in the future. Consequently, she may experience regrets about having donated and this may impact the relationship.

    #2089

    mila
    Participant

    I am so sad for you. I know it must be excruciating for you. Truly infertility disturbs a woman alot. I know the torment of infertility. I was so vexed however it was of no use. I chose to go for treatment yet no fortunes even following the treatments. This drove me to surrogacy. Presently I have a child.

    #2097

    Anonymous

    Your post is so painful. I can feel your pain. I can understand that what circumstances you are going through. Because I can relate your post to mine situation. I also wants kids of my own. But unfortunately, It can’t happen. There are some bitter truths that we have to accept in our life. But still dear, don’t lose hope. As there is always a way out from your problems. Life is the name of challenges. Just face the challenges with such a strong power that everyone appreciates you.
    Those who keep strong will get something good in future. And those who lose heart remain empty handed. You should learn to be happy in every situation. I just pray for you. God be with you. Thanks.

    #2105

    Akira
    Participant

    You can have a biological child now as well via surrogacy.
    I joined this forum long ago.I like to read the stories of different people.Its been a very long time.I feel happy after reading successful stories of different people.
    I’m also infertile.But i had to go for surrogacy.We firstly moved to Europe form Japan.Surrogacy is ban in Japan so we moved there.We stayed in Europe for 4 months.We contacted clinics in Europe.My husband didn’t liked them.Than we moved to Ukraine.As we heard alot about the clinics in Ukraine so we moved there.There we found a very good clinic.The clinic found a good surrogate for us.The surrogate is pregnant with our twin dolls.We are so happy.We are so happy that we will have our own kids now,We are so thankful to the clinic and surrogate.
    Everyone cheers and good luck.

    #2108

    Anonymous

    I feel sorry after reading your story. It is really painful for you. Infertile persons are suffering from so much pain. I am also an infertile. I can understand your situation and feelings. But dear you need to be strong. Don’t let emotions control your life. Believe in yourself. Try surrogacy as last option.

    #2473

    ezabel
    Participant

    You are correct. That does happen. How we adore all the moments where we get to know that we look alike our parents. That’s feels just so good. But destiny might drag you down where you got to use donor eggs. Everything happens for a reason. And we are fortunate that we have got such thing where you could have a baby. Even having zero hopes as stated by doctors. But yeah you could have your biological child by means of surrogacy. If that fits you well. Or you could go with donor ones.

    #2476

    Ellen
    Participant

    Hi. I hope you are any better now. You post was so emotional. It brought tears into my eyes. I can feel your pain. I know you must be going through a hard phase of your life. Dear, chin up. Stay strong. Think of the happy times that are yet to come. Don’t lose hope. Stay safe.

    #2499

    Rhonda Jet
    Participant

    Hey there Tiffany. How are you doing? I hope its all great. I am really sorry to hear about it. I know how it feels. Have been there. But we should not blame ourselves. Or anyone for that matter. This is just how life is. I wish you all good luck. Take care.

    #2507

    Sarah Williams
    Participant

    Hi Tifanny! Yes! That’s right! Everyone wants that way! I also wanted to that way. But, still can’t get it naturally. So, yeah! Now, this year I’m undergoing an IVF at a repro center in Ukraine. Because I still want to complete my family and have a child of my own. Wish you all the best! Seek other options you’ve left. xx

    #2513

    monika
    Participant

    Hey, Tifanny I can completely understand you. However, you shouldn’t care about what people think. It is your life and you get to live it the way you want to. If you can still produce eggs which are healthy then you can opt for surrogacy. This way the child will be genetically linked to you. Otherwise, you can go with DE and it wouldn’t even matter. As the child will still be linked to the father. Just be more positive and confident.

    #2516

    Catherine
    Participant

    Motherhood is motherhood. Nothing matches this beautiful universal feeling. It is a universally present dream in the lives of all women. They think of becoming a mother the day they start growing up. The first feeling of motherhood comes when a young girl holds her first doll. This feeling develops as the time passes. Once in a relationship the desire strengthens further. I know how you must have felt after hearing that you can’t become a mother. The solution of your happiness now rests in the assisted reprduction. There is nothing to worry about. Keep your emotions under control. This will help you think realistically. Which ever path you will choose will lead to the happiness of motherhood. Becoming a mother naturally is no doubt a blessing in itself. If you can’t be a mom naturally atleast you have a chance of becoming mother through alternative way. Once you will have the baby, you will be far better than the ones who have tried everything but could not see their dreams coming true.

    #2533

    Anonymous

    Tiffiany, I feel you, hun. What I recommend it not to pay heed to what people say. I know, to some point it hurts a lot. But eventually, it is you who will be bringing up the baby. As for you, don’t talk hopeless. I know, it is not easy to let go. But, you can focus more on how to resolve it? Have you seen an RE? Because a better evaluation of your health will determine the chances of conceiving naturally. Otherwise, don’t have to worry, as assisted conception has proven to bless people with kids. I advise you to consider seeking fertility counseling. This way you will be able to focus more on the resolution rather than the problem. Moreover, for inspiration, you can watch online the struggles of the couples and how they managed to overcome the curse of infertility. They give you major goals. If you have tried everything and nothing worked then I would say try surrogacy. Reseach and talk to a fertility doctor. You will be able to be a biological mother to a child. Moreover, persuade your husband to go for a sperm analysis. MFi can be a major factor affecting your fertility. Lost of wishes

    #2536

    Anonymous

    I feel sorry for you. It must be hard for you. I completely understand you. Dear, don’t pay attention what other says. You can’t make everyone happy. You should have to be happy. It is more important. There is nothing to be worried about. Keep your emotions controlled. Try to spend the time with your family. Depression released when you are with friends or family. If still, it doesn’t help, go for counseling. Watch inspirational videos. There are many couples who are fighting against infertility. They look for other options. If nothing worked for you try IVF or surrogacy. I wish you good luck for future.

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