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  • #674
    Susan Brooks
    Participant

    I do not know what to say about it so, so, as the title says, I’m still, naked, barren, sterilized to tell you about. So the story starts because we have close to 1.5 years that we try and we do not have a child and when I become pregnant I finally lost it. And of course, the good things I heard from my mother-in-law, While I was too busy but I got furious with her… She said that no one has a problem to have children in our family. But she doesn’t know that the problem is found in her son.I did not say anything to my husband in order not to hurt him and not to make him fight with her … I suspect that this thing is going to be repeated I do not know what to do.

    #675
    jenniflower
    Participant

    Hi there deary. How are you today? I hope that things are fine at your end. I also wsih you had a fantastic day. Your are going through some tough times as of right… I am sorry that this is happening to you. Infertility is the worst. Only those who have faced it can really understand this. I am also sorry for the way that your mother in law treated you. It is unacceptable and she shouldn’t say such things. I know that you are keeping this from your husband in order to protect him… There are thing that are worth to starts fight for dear. What you are going through is precisely one of those things. What I am trying to say is that its not earth it hold it in anymore. God bless you dear and proceed with caution… Do the things that you see fit.

    #729
    Sandy
    Participant

    Hi, Susan. I am Sandy, nice to meet you. So sorry that you had been TTC with no results so far. I am sure that future has great things in stock for you. I believe in that for sure. So, don’t lose hope. The last thing you want in TTC is stress and stress. So, make sure you do your best to avoid getting mad at someone. I have actually become more proactive in my approach. I just think about situations where I might be angry, so I do my best to minimize that.

    #730
    Sandy
    Participant

    Also, regarding your mother-in-law, that is a typical mother-in-law behavior. I always hear or read stories about how mother-in-laws tend to point the finger at the wife. I know why they might get so protective of their sons. Still, you should encourage your DH to go get spermogram done to see the results. That way, your mother-in-law won’t be pointing the finger at you anymore. I hope that will help you set the record straight once and for all. Also, I hope that your mother-in-law will become supportive. Good luck to you with everything.

    #731
    Sandy
    Participant

    z

    #758
    Milan
    Participant

    You should not worry what your mother in law says about you. It is your husband that married you and not your mother in law. I do understand that most of them do have issues. They tend to make the burden fall on their daughters in law. But that is not good. Because sometimes maybe the problem is even the husband. But they will just try to cover up for their son’s problem. So I hope your husband does not support her too. I do know that she is his mother. But there are something’s that his mother should not talk about. Like your fertility. The decision lies between the two of you. So your mother in law has nothing to add to it. Maybe she said that to mean you are the one with the issues. But even if you are the one with the issues. What with it? Your husband knows that and he still loves you. So just assume her.

    #819
    Tifanny
    Participant

    The least thing right now to worry about is your mother in law. Infertility is not hereditary. And further more, it is your husband who married you and not her. Sometimes let things be. Learn to get used that people will just talk. No matter what. You have to be strong and move on. If your husband is with you then you have nothing to worry about. Chase your happiness. No one ever wished to be infertile. Also 1.5 years is not that long. My mother tried to conceive for over 5 8 years. And there was no point during that period that my dad pointed a finger. Other family members did talk. But that did not deter her. She kept on trying. She later was successful. She is now a mother of 4 children. All were naturally conceived. I really do not knw what was the problem at that time. But what I can tell you is that she was strong. My family members gossiping about her did not break her. She actually used all that negativity to raise against odds. Maybe you can do the same too.

    #969
    Stormi
    Participant

    1 and a half years trying to conceive is such a short period. Going through infertility you should be expecting such reactions. Like what your mother in law is trying to mean. Do not be harsh on her. Neither do not regret on your side. No one wished to be what they are. We just find ourselves in some situations that we cannot help. So it could be better if you and see a doctor. Know what the problem is. It might turn out that your husband is the one with the issue. Just because no one is going through infertility in his family then he is fine. Infertility is mostly not genetically passed. It mainly depends with the lifestyle and what one eats. So try to live a healthy lifestyle and seek medication. I believe that you will find a solution. But for the time being let no hate from outside affect you. Keep pursuing your happiness and looking fir what is best for you.

    #1330
    Mona
    Participant

    Hey, sweety! Your post made me really upset. I wonder why so many mothers-in-laws are like that. Why don’t they treat their daughter in laws like their own daughters? Anyway, if you think this might happen again, then you should talk to your husband. Don’t tell him in a way that your DH thinks it as offensive. Tell him politely. I’m sure he’ll understand. Good luck!

    #1340
    Victoria
    Participant

    Hi! I’m so sorry for your situation. It’s already so difficult with the loss of MC and on top of that inlaws eat at your head. Please don’t take too much stress though. I’m sure you’ll be able to conceive well soon enough. Just keep trying. Try looking into options such as IVF and surrogacy as well. They’ll definitely help you out. Good luck!

    #1355
    Maratha
    Participant

    I am so sorry to hear that. The pain of losing something that was born out of you is unimaginable. And on top of that having someone to stress you out even more. I can surely imagine how much it would suck. just stay strong. 1.5 years is not a very long time. You can still conceive. Just keep trying. I have my fingers crossed for you. Best of luck. x

    #1373
    chicago
    Participant

    hey, listen you are not securing your husband. It’s not a right way. Unfortunately, I have to say that you are insulting him. Good wife considers are those who find a fault in his husband and try to get the cure as soon as possible. I am not taunting you. just giving you a sincere advice. Please go to doctors and consult with him. Try to get himself aware of it.

    #1395
    Milan
    Participant

    Infertility delivers a massive dose of stress in many marriages. If infertility has strengthened your marriage and moved you to a higher level of marital understanding and loving relationship with your spouse, you can skip reading this. You don’t need it. Praise God! But if trials and tribulations of infertility are threatening to put distance between yourself and the one you love. The fundamental thought you need to keep in mind at all times is that eventually it is your fight. And those who really understand will be on your side on their own in the right way. There will be some who l need to be told and that’s okay. After that, if there are still some left who don’t get it. You don’t need that kind of negativity. Let go. You don’t have to convince everybody. Your focus right now is you. Your physical health, your emotional wellness, and your peace of mind and you don’t have to place any of that in someone else’s hands!

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